Every website,every discussion,every interview about Sensory Processing Disorder is an opportunity to answer the question for someone,somewhere,who has been wondering all their life,“What’s wrong with me?”

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If Sensory Processing Disorder had been in the DSM

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Had Sensory Processing Disorder been in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual my life would have changed when I left home to go to college. There,my first act of total independence was to go to the psychology building at the university and ask for help.

“Can you please tell me what’s wrong with me?” I asked the head of the department.

Growing up,I was “a problem.” I didn’t fall asleep or wake up like I was supposed to. Fancy clothes made me itch and complain. I did my best to avoid group activities. In school,I couldn’t keep my

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Sensory Defensive Nervous System –drawing

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I created a drawing that illustrates how a person with a “sensory defensive” nervous system may react differently to ordinary stimuli than a person with a “normal”nervous system.

Feel free to print it. Sometimes we need a drawing to explain to others what it’s like.

Click here to open the printable PDF

Modulation Madness

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Think of what it would be like if every time you wanted to exit the freeway you had to overcome the concrete barrier,crash down the grassy hill,jump the curb and merge with street traffic driving at one third your speed.

My guess is you would just keep driving on the freeway until you ran out of gas.

Sensory modulation is the entrance ramps and acceleration lanes of the normal human brain.

From major life changes to small everyday activities,people with atypical sensory modulation abilities may struggle with transition.

My own personal transition struggles begin

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Meltdown

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It was a perfect storm first thing in the morning.

Gentle rain soothed like a lullaby,gently lapping unconsciousness over my attempt to surface into the day.

Just move, I told myself when I next poked my head above dreamy morning sleep.

The best I could do was fumble for the stereo remote.

Morning Edition broadcast a report from Japan about people enduring hunger,loss and misery.

Still in bed,surrounded by pillows,I rebuilt the structure that was washed away while I slept. It’s a barrier to keep me safe from images;only words are allowed through. I build

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Self-love vs Self-hatred

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I can hardly write about this without disliking myself on a certain level.

All my life I have struggled against the belief that what ails me is a moral/spiritual failure,some complex mixture of the seven deadly sins.

Or an emotional disorder that is within my power to fix,if I would quit hanging on so stubbornly to my self-centered beliefs.

Sometimes I simply feel like a pain in the ass to everyone I interact with. The more closely you have to interact with me,the more of a pain the ass I fear I will become.

My best defense

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Buying the New Prius

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Buying Prius 2 is a four part story. It illustrates the light and dark side,maybe even a green,blue and red side, of living inside a “sensational” body. Lightly, I hope,it touches upon sensory over-responsivity,and sensory-based motor disorder.

The moral of the story – if you inhabit a sensational body,venturing outside of routine is a time to take very special care of yourself.

Prius part2 –Leaving Home

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I couldn’t navigate successfully into Friday. I forgot key components of my morning ritual. Every time I sat down at my computer I remembered something important and had to get out of my chair. I was in a state of irritable hypo-mania. We still had the car negotiation hanging over us. Watson was desperate to complete the deal since the AC in the pickup bit the dust a few days ago,just as Houston’s little cold snap retreated. Our pea soup air was scheduled to warm into the 80’s.

“Dripping sweat does not make a good impression on my clients,” Watson said

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