What’s Wrong with You?

I have been asking myself this question my whole life. Several “quirks” have set me firmly apart from normalcy for as far back as I can remember. Certain things that seem easy to regular folks, take heroic levels of concentration for me. Smells and sounds that don’t bother other people can make me flee to a dark, quiet room.

Pain is more intense for me than it is for normal people. Actually, EVERYTHING is more intense. There is growing physical evidence of it. You can feel it if you touch the muscles that make up my back or neck, or run your fingers over my scalp. My muscles are ropey and knotted. I’m an active, ambitious person but the intensity and the pain make me tired. So tired that, often, my mind just shuts down. My IQ drops from 125 to about…I don’t know, right now I’m too tired to do math in my head.

These quirks have slowed down my one overarching goal in life –  to help save the world.

There have been other distractions as well – business, motherhood and marriage.

Besides figuring out how to change the world, and nurturing my beloved distractions, my life has been a quest to find out exactly what is wrong with me and exactly what I can do to make it better. This quest has led me in and out of the offices of healers of every stripe.

My quest has led me to read hundreds of books on physical and mental disorders, psychology, neurobiology, self-help, nutrition, exercise, human and animal behavior, parenting, cognitive evolution, spirituality and emotional healing.

I have tried on (and eventually discarded) diagnoses and labels too numerous to list.

If you have similar quirks and like to read, a couple of books I found most helpful about “Sensitivity” to get you started:

The Highly Sensitive Person.”

Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight.”

And, if you want to help save the world — stay tuned, I promise I will have suggestions on that too, soon.